Who Am I Now? – Maternal Identity Loss

Who Am I Now? – Maternal Identity Loss

Intro: Becoming a mother is one of the most profound transformations a woman can undergo. But while society celebrates the baby, the mother’s internal shift often goes unseen. Behind the milestone moments — first steps, first words — many mums quietly ask themselves: Who am I now?

For some, motherhood brings a beautiful clarity of purpose. For others, it disrupts an identity once firmly held — career goals, friendships, sense of autonomy — all upended or reshaped.

This isn’t selfishness. It’s psychology. Research into maternal identity theory reveals that women don’t just become mothers — they reconfigure who they are. Roles shift. Priorities realign. But the person inside? She doesn’t disappear. She evolves.

The challenge is: we don’t often give space to talk about this shift. We ask about baby milestones, not mum’s emotional map. We praise resilience, but don’t always honor what’s been quietly lost.

So what do we lose — and how do we begin to find ourselves again?

We may lose:

  • Time for ourselves
  • Clarity about what we want
  • Connection to people who once defined us
  • A sense of spontaneity

And what we gain? Love, yes. But also responsibility, expectation, pressure — and sometimes guilt for even missing the "old me."

The good news: rediscovery is possible. And it doesn't require a dramatic reinvention. It starts with something far gentler:

  • Noticing moments where you feel most you
  • Saying no to what no longer fits
  • Making space for your own voice again

In the next part of our series, we’ll explore practical tools for this rediscovery — created with emotional safety, not self-improvement, in mind.

Because you’re not lost. You’re just paused.

And KL is here to walk that next part with you.

Citations 📚

  • Sutherland, J.-A. (2010). Mothering, identity, and self‐reflection: The need for a sociological lens. Journal of Family Studies, 16(2), 138–149.

  • Dunlop, B., & Ward, K. (2020). Transitions to motherhood: Identity, self-concept and the maternal role. Psychology & Society, 12(3), 45–60.

Coming Next: Part 2 – Reclaiming the Self: Practical Tools for Rediscovery

💛 Ready to take the next step?

Discover your identity match and begin reconnecting with the parts of you that still matter — and still exist.

👉🏼 Take the “Who Am I Now?” Quiz and download your free Rediscovery Toolkit


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